I'm a woman of the millennium!!!
Hey Babe -
Do you remember how you used to open doors and pull out chairs for me when we first started dating? You would also help to put on my jacket when I’m struggling to get my arm though the other sleeve. The first few times you did it, I was thinking to myself, “okay, sure.” But after I awhile, it bothered me, so I told you that I could open my own door and pull out my own chair. I was a woman of the millennium for god’s sake, I didn’t need a man for anything! But you still didn’t stop (that was just the kind of man you were), so I would walk faster to get to the door before you so I could open it myself, and there were a few times where I would literally knock over the waiter just so I could get to my chair before you (that was just the kind of woman I am). I refused to accept your chivalrous ways, which made you even more determined to be chivalrous. There were times where you would tell strangers who looked at me opening my own door as you walked next to me, “She opens her own door because she won’t let me open the door for her.” It was like you had to explain ‘my girlfriend is a woman of the millennium and I’m not a jerk who can’t open the door for a lady!’ Overtime, we found a middle ground, and I got used to having my door opened and chair pulled out for me (when it was convenient and not so obviously out of your way).
I was such a woman of the millennium that I also made you stop wearing your “ying and yang” pendant. I told you that I didn’t like what the “ying and yang” symbolism represented. You said, “Why not? It’s supposed to be a symbolism of the perfect complement / relationship.” I said, “Yes, but the male is represented as the white, positive, and strong force whereas the female was represented as the black, negative, and weak force.” I even sent you a plethora of literature and information on the “true” meaning of the “ying and yang” symbolism that wasn’t made known to the masses, but you still refused to stop wearing it. You said it was your favorite pendant and you like what it symbolizes and that I was over-exaggerating the meaning. It even got to a point where I said it’s fine you wear it but not around me. It was definitely a point of contention in our relationship for sometime. Every time you wore the pendant, I would give you a hard time and more or less called you a ‘sexist pig’ for wearing it. You eventually stopped wearing it (at least around me). I don’t know if you stopped wearing the pendant because you finally realized it was a sexist symbolism or if you just got tired of hearing my mouth. If I had to guess, it was probably the latter. 😜😝😛
I guess I was lucky to find a man that still believes in chivalry, even if I didn’t appreciate it most of the time. You know that I don’t believe in fairytales, but you were definitely my prince charming. The thought of you always made my heart skip a beat and brought the biggest smile to my face, even after all the years we’ve been together. I always light up when I talk about you. I can distinctly remember a few conversations where people called me out on it.
There was this time when I was carpooling back from the fruit company with a coworker. I can’t remember what we were talking about specifically, but the conversation lead to our significant others. I remember talking about you and she asked how long we’ve been together. (I can’t remember the exact year but it was probably around year 8 or 9 - let’s just assume 9 years) I said, “9 years.” She said, “What?! You guys have been together that long?” I said, “Yeah! Why?” She said, “The way you talk about him, I thought you guys just started dating and had just fallen in love!” I asked, “What do you mean?” She said, “You lit up and was smiling the whole time you were talking about him.” I said, “Isn’t that how it’s supposed to be?” Cause this is usually how I am when I talk about you (unless it’s one of those times when you made me mad! haha)
Just last year, I was having lunch with a coworker, and I was having a bad day at work and was in a terrible mood. I was being short, curt, and abrasive when I was talking to him. Then somehow the conversation changed to you and in the middle of me talking about you, he interrupted me and said, “I can tell you really love him (you).” I said, “What do you mean?” He said, “Just a second ago, you were about to eat my head off, and then you start talking about S and all of the sudden, your entire mood shifts and you are smiling and happy.” I said, “Really? I didn’t even notice.” He said I was lucky to always have someone by my side to take on the world with.
Looking back now, I realize how lucky I was to have you by my side. You always loved and supported me (even on the days when I didn’t deserve it). You always loved me for who I was and for who I wasn’t. You always accepted me as I was and never tried to change me (except for the time when you told me that it would be a lot easier if I just let you dress me. I don’t understand, what’s wrong with sweats and flip flops for all occasions?).
I love you Babe. Thanks for loving me for everything that I am and for everything that I’m not and for giving me the fairytale I didn't believe in.
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A grieving widow who is trying to find meaning and purpose from her tragic event.