GOOD-BYE BABE
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My Journey
Hey Babe,
I can’t write for too long today since it’s late and I’m exhausted, but I wanted to tell you that Jesse slept outside last night because I didn’t do a headcount before going to bed. The dogs were acting crazy before I was going to bed, but I thought maybe there was a critter outside, not that they were trying to tell me that Jesse is outside and wants to come back in. No wonder the dogs were going crazy. Yes, I know, you always tell me to watch the dogs’ behavior and antics since they are usually trying to tell me something or alerting me of something, but you know me! I never pay attention to these things. You know, I’m hard of hearing, so I never hear him meowing outside when he’s ready to come back inside when he escapes to the great outdoors. You’re usually the one that hears him and lets him back in! He had gotten outside earlier in the day but then magically appeared for the dinner feeding. I didn’t realize he got outside again after he ate his dinner until I went to fed the animals in the morning, and Jesse didn’t come for his morning feeding. I should have known something was wrong when he wasn’t sleeping next to me last night and walking all over me and kneading me to wake up and feed him this morning. When he didn’t come for the morning feeding, I thought he was locked up in a room or drawer or closet somewhere, so I searched the entire house and couldn't find him. Then it occurred to me that I had left the sliders open and there’s a hole in one of the screen door from Bam Bam scratching at it (I know, this would never happen if you were still alive! And, if it did happen, Bam Bam would be on a major timeout or missing a paw or something along those lines!!!) I called his name and he didn’t come out, so I started to get worried. Luckily, YA was coming over for breakfast, so he climbed down to look for him underneath the deck area (since you know that’s where he likes to go hangout and hide whenever he gets loose). No such luck (well at least YA couldn't see or find him). So, I’m starting to freak out, thinking he got attacked or eaten by a mountain lion or fox or goat or something. Then out of nowhere, we hear this meowing and look outside and guess who finally decided to come home. We opened the slider and he waltzes inside the house like nothing and walks towards his food and starts eating. He looked like he had slept in a bush somewhere, he had leaves and brush stuck on his head and along the side of his body! Well, I was definitely relieved, but I hope he learns a valuable lesson today that Daddy isn’t here anymore, and Mommy doesn’t do a headcount before she goes to bed, so he better come home before the street lights turn on!! Mommy got too many thing going on in her head that she can't kept up with his escape artist antics. This is the first time in the entire 12 years I’ve had him that I didn't realize he wasn't home and I left him to sleep outside!! My poor baby...but really, I hope he learned a valuable lesson today - at least it wasn’t too cold last night! Also, I had a very scary dream about you when I was napping today! You scared the S*** out of me - I hope you’re not mad at me or something, but honestly, I really don’t like it when you scare and haunt me in my dreams! It usually wakes me up abruptly, and I'm uneasy for the rest of the day! Why can't you just be nice and come to visit and tell me nice things like how much you love and miss me instead of saying angrily, "Stop telling YA and MY my business!" Ironically, neither of these people read the blog and I haven't told them anything about you lately, so I really don't know what you're talking about! P.S. I finally found a home for your fish tank! I posted an ad on craig's list and a bunch of people emailed me since it was free. The first person that emailed me said he was going to come and pick it up today at 9:30am. When he didn't show up at 10:30am, I called him and he said he was going to come around 12:30 or 1pm instead (like I had nothing else better to do than wait for him). I asked him, if he wasn't going to make it on time, why didn't he let me know in advance or make other arrangements instead of just not saying anything and thinking he can come whenever he wanted? He had all these excuses, so I just told him forget it! I ended up emailing the second person that contacted me (anyways, when I saw the emails come in, I honed in on the second person anyways, but I wanted to be fair and give it to the first person that emailed me!) But I responded to him and said the tank was taken already but if anything changes, I will let him know. So, after I got off the phone with the first guy, I emailed the second person. He didn't respond right away, and I got an undeliverable message, so I tried again in the afternoon and told them to call me if they still wanted the tank. They called and we arranged for the pick-up to be at 6pm. I told them what happened with the other guy and that if they weren't prompt, then I will move down the list. I wanted to make sure I gave the tank to someone who was really wanted the tank and will take care of it, not some irresponsible flake who doesn't show up on time and with no follow-up either. This person arrived promptly at 6pm and was super excited and stoked when he saw the tank. He didn't speak English, but it was obvious with his excitement. The kid with him tells us (YA was here, I wouldn't have some stranger come to our house when I'm alone don't worry Babe!) that the fish tank will be for arowana!!! After he tells us that, YA and I just looked at each, and we both knew it was going to the right home. Since Samy was an arowana also and you love arowanas!! It was bittersweet, and I didn't cry (I almost did, but I was able to fight it back!)
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AuthorA grieving widow who is trying to find meaning and purpose from her tragic event. Archives
July 2021
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