#nofear

Hi Babe -

I never told you about our glamping trip in Guernville.  It was awesome!! We didn’t quite get an airstream since they were sold out but we did get a happier camper!!  EE named it Hubert!! It was super small and quaint, but we loved it. It was actually easier to get around the camper by walking around it from the outside!!  I've attached a photo of Hubert for you!!  I think you would have said, "Oh SY, what have you gotten me into this time!!" when you saw the camper if we were on this trip together!! 😂😂 Yup, we used communal bathrooms since the Hubert didn't have a built in bathroom!!  But even the communal bathrooms were super nice!!  We started the trip wine tasting in the area and then kayaking on the second day. The redwoods were simply majestic in the area. Everywhere you looked, the landscape was covered in redwoods.  We kayaked for about 5 miles and it took us about 3 ½ hours. It was a Monday, so the ride was very serene and quiet; not a lot of people on the water. There were many times when I was paddling, all I could think about was you and my life without you.  (You have a lot of time to think about things out in the woods with no wifi and cell service.) There were many times I wanted to scream at the top of my lungs at the universe and ask “Why me?! What did I do to deserve this?!” But, at the same time, as much as I want to curse the universe for what it has taken from me, I also have to be thankful for everything it has given to me as well during this journey.  As much as it’s taken from me, it has also given back in manyfolds. Even though I’m going through the worst period in my life right now, I’ve never felt so much love and support from our family and friends, even my no nonsense, emotionless family has shown so much love and support (of course in their own way). Even in my darkest hour, I still feel so blessed, and I have no complaints!! I can be angry and curse the universe, but I also have to take a step back and be thankful for everything it has given to me as well.  I would not be able to get to where I am right now without all the love and support from our family and friends near and far. The outpouring of love and support has been overwhelming and I’m so thankful for all of it. I’ve also been blessed with an amazing therapist, whose patience and guidance has taken me so far on this journey, even though I resist her most of the time, she continues to push me to never let fear be my boundary. Work has also been super supportive, and has many benefits to help with the grief process.  Without all these things, I would not be where I am today. So, no matter how mad I am at the universe, I still have to take a step back and be thankful for everything it has given me to get through this journey.

EE and I called this adventure our #nofear trip.  We made a pact to never let fear be the boundary of who we are destined to be.  No matter the circumstance, we will always push through and never let fear be our boundary!!  I will channel the warrior inside of me and find the strength and courage to continue living for the both of us. 💪🏽💪🏽💪🏽

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