So, I woke up at 3:45 this morning and checked my phone (which is always bad, since I know better and should just potty and go back to bed, but I didn’t!!), and there was a text from LH that said he had an update and to call him when I’m available and ready to chat. Of course, I know exactly what he’s talking about since there’s only one thing left that he's following up on—the autopsy report from the coroner. So, I texted him, “I’m in China. Can I handle this update while I’m here?” (He must have forgotten that I was in China because I know he wouldn't have texted me if he knew and put me through the agony that I'm about to tell you now.) He asked when I was coming back, and I said Saturday AM. He said, "Let's talk when you get back on Sat." Then I asked, "What is the update specifically, is there cause of death?" He stopped responding, so I try to go back to bed, but you know how I am. I couldn’t sleep and started working, and then I start texting LH again. Asking what is the update specifically and if there's a cause of death and that I wanted to know now. I told him to tell me (even though I was scared and frightened to know all at the same time), and he said, “No, since you don’t have a support network there to handle this news.” Annoyed, I continue to blow up his phone with questions and pleas that I need to know, so he called to put me in my place. (I really don’t understand how I continue to collect husbands (real and work) that are so mean to me and always wanting to put me in my place!) He called around 6:15am (yes, this was in a span of multiple hours, I’m giving you the Amazing Race version of this story. Okay, now I can see how annoying I was in hindsight) to say that he is working, and nothing is going to change from now to when I get back on Saturday, so he’s not going to tell me and to stop asking. He called it tough love! So, I’m in tears; crying in the dark in my hotel room as he is yelling at me (I call it yelling, he called it tough love...I say tomato, you say tom-at-o), and I said fine. So, I guess I’ll just have to wait until Saturday to find out why you dropped dead on me. I guess there’s a reason now and only the coroner and LH knows! Anyways, it’s almost 7:30am and I have to pack up, eat breakfast, and check out before 8:30am. I’m heading back to Hong Kong this evening. Tomorrow is a holiday in HKG, so we’re going sightseeing. The Big Buddha is our main attraction. Supposedly there’s 400+ steps to climb after taking a gondola to the platform. So, if I don’t write ever again, it’s because I collapsed from over exhaustion going up the stairs to visit the big Buddha. I hope LH feels bad for not letting me know why you died if I drop dead tomorrow, but then again, I get to see you again. (Okay, bad joke, but we never let any bad experiences take away our sense of humor!!)
A grieving widow who is trying to find meaning and purpose from her tragic event.