I'm sitting in our bedroom watching the sunset over the bay and I can't help but think about how much I miss you and how I still can't believe you are not here with me. I can't even fathom it; just thinking about it brings me to tears. I yearn to hear your voice one more time. I just want to hear you say, "I love you too!" I look around me and I can't help but feel that this is NOT my life, this is not what I signed up for. How can this be my life?! It's unreal. I just want to close my eyes and wake up from this bad dream or go back to Earth 1 where you are waiting for me to come home and eat dinner. I think about whether you are sitting or sleeping next to me and I just can’t see you like in the movie Ghost or whether there’s these multiverse out there that I can go back to where you and I are together again like in Flash or that Jet Li movie One, where his wife dies in his universe but in the end, he ends up going to another universe where they get to meet again. Every night I go to bed, I close my eyes and wish that when I wake up the next day, you will be laying besides me and we get up to start our day together like usual - where I get to hold your hand, give you a hug, and hear your voice; where you bend down and give me a kiss goodbye and tell me you love me before you leave for work. I just want to feel your arms around me again, to hear your boisterous laughter when you are making fun of me, and see that look you give me when you know you got my number. I just want you back - anything to hit rewind and never have to move forward again--to remain in a time that stands still and you and I are together forever; sitting on the sofa and watching TV while we laugh and make fun of each other. I don't even know how to move on without you. You are my entire world; my heart, and every breath I take, I want to take it with you by my side. Where are you? Please come home to me. I miss you so much.
A grieving widow who is trying to find meaning and purpose from her tragic event.