Today I made broth for noodles in the instant pot. This was the first time I’ve used the instant pot to make broth since your large aluminum stock pot doesn’t work on the induction stove. It actually turned out really good--I think I will make it in the instant pot for now on since it only took a few hours instead of all day. Remember how I would make so much broth that we would be eating hot pot and noodles all week?! Sometimes, when I go on a trip for awhile, I would cook broth so you could eat noodles all week while I’m gone since you always ate very unhealthy or out most of the time when I wasn’t home (even though you know how to cook, you were lazy to cook when you’re playing bachelor) and it was the one thing I know you would eat all week. I would come home and asked what you ate while I was gone and you would say, “UberEats and I were really good friends while you were gone!”
Anyways babe, I’ve been thinking about your mama! It always amazes me how a grown ass man like yourself could still be scared of his mama at 49 years old. If I wanted to stop you from doing something, all I have to say is “I’m going to tell your mama!” And you would respond with, “You wouldn’t dare!” Then I would say, “Try me!” 😜😜😜 Sometimes you would do it anyways; other times you didn’t want to chance it. There have been times where you would get off the phone with your mom or after you come back from seeing her and the first thing you would say to me when you walked through the door was, “SY, I can’t believe you told my mama!” or “SY, you’re such a tattletale!” There were times when I would tattle to your mama right in front of you, and you would turn towards me abruptly and say, “SY, why are you telling my mama?! You can’t hold water! You’re such a tattletale!” I remember one day when we were hanging out with Auntie CY and I told her, “If I don’t want Sean to do something, all I have to say is ‘I’m going to tell your mama’ and he wouldn’t do it.” Then she turned to you and you looked like you were 5 years old when you shook your head in agreement and said, “I have a very healthy fear of my mom.” Auntie CY laugh and said she couldn’t believe it. I said, “Oh, believe it, ‘cause it’s true!” 😆😆😆
I remember shortly after we got married, your mom asked me to Happy Hour. I just assumed it was with the usual suspects (us, your mom, and your aunties MH and OS). But when I told you about it, you said she didn’t invite you. I said, “Well, of course you’re invited. Why wouldn’t you be invited? I’ve never hung out with your mom by myself before. So, of course you’re invited, right?!” But it was strange that she texted me and not you, since she usually makes plans with you and not me. So, when it got closer, I asked her who was all going? She said, “Just us unless you want to invite your husband.” Well, of course I was a little freaked out. Why would my new mother-in-law want to meet me by herself?! In all those Asian dramas and telenovelas I’ve watched, mother-in-laws never get along with their daughter-in-laws. We were never good enough for their sons and always doing something wrong. I was thinking, ‘what did I do wrong already?! It’s only been a month or so of marriage.’ But as it turns out, she just wanted one-on-one time to get to know her new DIL better. (Yes babe, I think that was the beginning of those MIL-DIL days you abhorred!!😆😆😆) After I got home from the happy hour and told you what she said, you were shocked and said, “What?! My mother said that to you?! She must be getting soft in her old age. She wouldn’t care about getting to know her daughter-in-law if it was 10 years ago!” Well babe, even though it always annoyed you when had our MIL-DIL days, we loved having them still. Every time I told you we were having our MIL-DIL day, you would throw up your hands and say, “What is going on SY! My worlds are colliding!!” You were probably a little jealous of our relationship and I always liked to joke, “You better be careful, your mama is going to love me more than you soon!” 😝😝😝 And you would always say, “Don’t delude yourself SY. She will always love me more than you. You will never be the favorite!” I remember when she texted me one day to tell me that I was her emergency contact. When I told you about it, you were bothered by it and said, “I need to have a conversation with my mom about this.” When you asked her about it, she said, “Well S picks up her phone and responds to texts right away; you don’t! If something happens to me, I know she will pick up the phone.” I’m sure to make you feel better, she added “You’re still #1 on the emergency contact list, I just added her as back-up!!” After she said that, you felt better and rubbed it in that I was just back-up!! (I guess that made you feel better about your position since you were probably a little worried that she might actually love me more than you!!😜😜😜) Anyways babe, just to make sure everybody knows that I wasn’t the only tattletale in the relationship! You also liked to tattle on me with your mama (and also with my parents and family)!! "Mama, guess what your 'D-I-L' did?! She ain't that perfect!!" 🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️ (Of course you would add air quotes and exaggeration when you said, 'D-I-L') So don’t even think I would let you get away with everybody thinking I was the only tattletale in the relationship!!
The afternoon before your mom’s surprise 70th birthday party (a week before you passed), I don’t remember what we were talking about specifically but we were in the kitchen and I had this revelation and I spontaneously said, “OMG, I just realize you married your mama!” And you gave me the ‘oh, she got my number’ look, then you grinned and walked away! I never had the opportunity to tell you that it was an honor that you would think I was like your mama! Your mom embodies strength, independence, and grace. She is funny, kind-hearted, fair, open, accepting, and believes in the philosophy of ‘tough love’! I could only hope to be half the person she is. Talking about tough love, I remember the story you told me about when you thought you were a man at 16 or 17 years old and stood up to your mama by saying, “I’m a man now! I can do whatever I want.” After you said this to her, you were in front of the house chatting with some friends and next thing you know, your mom was tossing all of your stuff out of the house (like wives do when they find out their husbands are cheating on them). Your friend tells you, your mother is throwing your stuff out of the house. You run to her and asked what she was going. She responded with, “Well, you said you’re a man now, so go find your own place to live!” 😂😂😂 I was cracking up when you told me this story. It’s a wonder why you have such a healthy fear of your mama!
A week after you passed, I went to visit your mom with your dad. We sat in the living room and talked about the immense pain and grief we were feeling. Your mom and I were in tears and holding my hands, then out of nowhere, she said, “I want to let you know that you will always be my daughter-in-law even if you remarry. You are young and still have so much love to give. Don’t ever shut that door and not let anyone else in.” I’m sure I sat there stunned and in shock. It wasn’t anything I was expecting to hear from your mom (but I'm not surprised she said it), especially so soon after you passed. But that’s just the person she is--strong and selfless. She found the strength to look beyond herself and her grief to make sure I knew it was okay to love and find happiness again. Now, I truly understand why you love and respect her so much and where some of your greatest traits come from.
She was your first love and I was your last. She was the beginning of your love story and I was the ending. ❤️❤️❤️
A grieving widow who is trying to find meaning and purpose from her tragic event.