I didn’t realize you were such a hoarder. I lived with you all these years and only realized that my husband’s a hoarder when I have to look at all your stuff and figure out what to do with it all. In the beginning, looking at your stuff was painful (especially the first week). I would cry or scream whenever I saw your stuff, knowing that you had put it there and would never ever move it again. I also would go into the closet and cry next to your things. Somehow it made me feel better - like you were there with me. Eventually, seeing your things exactly where you left them last gave me comfort since it made me feel like you were coming home from your business trip soon. Now, it’s just normal to have your things around as if nothing has happened that I can barely even fathom or think about touching or moving anything. I know one day, I will have to go through your things when it’s finally real that you won’t be coming home anymore. But for right now, you are just on an extended business trip as I anxiously await your return. I love and miss you so much. I hope you are missing me as much as I miss you while you're on your business trip. (Okay, fine! I did purge all your ridiculous shows on the DVR that I have no interest in watching and I did give Samy, the fish, away since I have no clue how to take care of a fish, as that was all you. But I did make sure he went to someone that would take really good care of him and I also called to check up on him. He is doing well and getting along with the other fishes was the feedback.)
A grieving widow who is trying to find meaning and purpose from her tragic event.